I have 2 friends right now who recently had babies and who each also have a 2 or 3 year old at home, and they are going through a rough time. What mom in this situation doesn’t? I remember how tough it was in the beginning trying to balance breastfeeding, diaper changes, and late nights, but still trying to give your toddler adequete mommy time. It’s TOUGH! So to all those new moms in this situation, I give you this:
Dear Mom of a newborn +1,
I see you in the park struggling to push the stroller and keep your toddler from running too far ahead and I remember. I remember the desperation of wanting my toddler to just listen, to understand that Mommy is exhausted. I remember wondering what the other moms were thinking (or saying) about my inadequecy of handling 2 kids in public. I remember wanting to just pack everyone and everything back up in the car and go home, where I can hide from my imagined failures.
I want to run up and hug you and tell you it WILL GET BETTER. But I know that will make you probably want to hit me, or squirt the leaking breast milk in my face to shut me up. I want to tell you that I have been through what you’re going through and that really, moms with one child just will never understand. Yes, they have their breakdowns and tough moments-but they will never understand the struggle of balancing a newborn and a toddler at the same time. They will never understand how heart wrenching it is to see your toddler’s face drop when the newborn starts to cry as soon as you finally get to sit and do a puzzle with the “big brother”. How helpless you feel while nursing the baby when you look over to see your toddler making the biggest mess in the history of messes just because they are so desperate for your attention.
But I promise, this will pass! Soon you’ll figure out a schedule of nursing, feeding, playing, diapering, and napping. You WILL! Notice I didn’t add laundry and cleaning to that list-that will come later…and having dinner ready at dinner time, well that’s why God invented take out. And don’t worry, you’ll also learn to carve out time in order to have special moments with each child and you’ll learn to savor them and rejoice that the hell you went through is over (well at least for that stage).